Nearly four in ten single Americans have already brought AI into their love lives. That is one of the findings the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University released on Sep 14, 2026, from the 15th edition of Singles in America, its annual survey of about 5,000 U.S. singles. 39% have used AI while dating, most often to improve their communication, find better matches or come up with messages.
The same survey carries the counterweight. 66% say AI could not replace human connection, and 30% object to a date who uses AI for all of their conversations.
Singles in America is funded by Match, the dating company, and run with Kinsey researchers. Its numbers are worth reading together, because the AI figures sit next to a finding that points the other way: the thing most likely to change someone's mind about a person is a good conversation.
Who uses it
Use is concentrated among the young. 67% of Gen Z singles have used AI for dating, against 46% of Millennials, 24% of Gen X and 5% of Boomers. Men are ahead of women, 47% against 30%.
Some uses cross a line for a large share of daters. 34% consider AI-altered profile photos a dealbreaker. Another 30% object to a partner handing every conversation to a model. Only 30% believe AI could improve human connection.
Match's own announcement of the survey, published four days earlier, leads with romance, emotional safety and money. The AI numbers appear in the Kinsey Institute's release.
What singles say they want
Read past the headline figures and the survey describes people who want steadiness more than sparks. When asked to choose, singles pick peace and emotional safety over passion and excitement by more than two to one, 34% against 14%. Among women the gap is 40% against 9%.
The traits they ask for are conversational ones. "Someone I can trust and confide in" was the most selected answer for a committed partner, chosen by 39% as one of their top three. Mutual respect (53%), open communication (52%) and a feeling of safety and security (40%) led the hallmarks of a healthy relationship. In Match's release, feeling listened to (56%) and being able to share feelings without judgment (54%) rank among the things that make singles feel emotionally safe with someone.
Saying no is where the talking tends to stop. Only 35% of singles say they are willing to tell someone face to face that they are not interested, and 37% by text. Yet 60% would prefer some form of direct communication if a date lost interest in them. People want the honest conversation more readily than they offer it.
Standards are rising at the same time. The share of singles with a checklist for a long-term partner went from 25% in 2021 to 34% in 2026. Half of Gen Z look up a date online before meeting, mostly on social media.
How it works: conversation still changes minds
The most useful finding for anyone thinking about AI and dating is about how attraction moves. Nearly half of singles, 49%, have fallen for someone they did not find attractive at first, up from 30% in 2010. Great conversation is the leading reason (47%), ahead of shared interests (41%) and shared values (35%). Among singles who keep a checklist, 46% have fallen for someone who did not fit it.
That is the mechanism a model can shortcut. An AI that polishes your opening line, or answers for you, improves the message the other person reads. It does nothing for the thing that made them reconsider you, which is how the two of you talk once the polish is gone. The 30% who object to AI-run conversations seem to have understood this: the conversation is how they find out who they are dealing with.
"Knowing what matters to you doesn't mean knowing exactly who you'll fall for," said Justin Garcia, executive director of the Kinsey Institute and co-lead of the study.
There is a related risk on the other side of the screen. Chatbots tend to agree with the people who use them, which is why we argued that an AI that always agrees with you is bad for you. Practising conversation with a partner that never pushes back is poor training for a date who will.
The limits
This is a survey of what people report, not a record of what they do. It was collected online between March and April 2026, from a panel described as demographically representative of U.S. singles aged 18 and older, so it says nothing about other countries.
The funding matters too. Match pays for the study, and the release it put out frames the results around intentional, optimistic dating, which suits a dating company. The Kinsey release adds the AI questions, which Match's own text leaves out. Neither release publishes the exact wording of the AI questions: "used AI in their dating lives" can mean anything from asking a chatbot for a first-date idea to letting it write every message.
Finally, the AI figures are a snapshot. The releases give no earlier numbers for AI use to compare them with, so they do not show whether it is growing.
What the numbers do show is a gap worth watching. Singles are using AI to get to a first conversation faster, while saying that the conversation itself is what they are looking for. Other research points in the same direction: in a year-long study of Character.AI users, heavier use went with fewer in-person ties. The tools can help people meet. The talking is still up to them.